Reply To: Life as the son of a Child Molester: My story

happiest, I will try to answer those questions openly. My father was reported by a few of the victims that were willing to come forward. I don’t know exactly who they told (aside from their parents, I guess), or exactly how it got to the authorities, so I’m sorry I can’t really help with that. Many victims did not admit they were abused at first, but later came out with it, after it was brought to the public. I was fairly young at the time, so I didn’t fully understand and see everything that was going on. After my father was arrested, he was advised to go through heavy therapy to see if he could change. My mother was willing to give him that chance. But he didn’t change, and my parents divorced shorty after. We, the children, were given all sorts of guidelines and rules to follow about how often, where, and when we can see our father. We were told he was never allowed to be in our house again. There were posters put up in every shul about him, warning the members to notify their Rabbi if he was spotted there. Everyone knew about it, but everyone also was very quite about it.

I don’t know if I should be the one to advise you what to do in your situation, but I feel that it is better to get the truth out and deal with the possibility of having little support, but long-term relief, rather than go on with it building up inside you, and hiding it. Again, I am not at all qualified to tell you what to do, but I think that is what I’d do, now that I know I can deal with the shunning and lack of support. Perhaps discuss it with someone you really trust and respect.

Whatever you choose to do, know that I admire and respect you for all you have gone through, and may G-d see to it to relieve you of your pain and replace it with happiness!