For the Best, I advocate for victims and I can tell you that a victim CANNOT in any way control the situation. That is why the abuser picked you. If you were the type of person that could stand up for yourself or the type of person that would run and tell, you would NOT be a good candidate to be a victim. Abusers look for victims they can groom and those who are vulnerable in a way that they can control. Those that they can threaten and those that they can be sure will NOT tell and will NOT be able to fight back.
It was absolutely, positively NOT your fault, and there was NOTHING you could do at the time. YOU were not prepared, taught or trained HOW to protect yourself, what to do if you were approached by such a menuval, and how to behave in such a horrific situation. NOW that you are grown up you are in control of your own choices and NOW you can choose to no longer be a victim and be a survivor. YOU can choose to never be anyone’s victim ever again and YOU can choose whether you are ready at this time to press charges against him or if you still need more time before doing so. You may never be ready, I can’t know that, only you and your therapists will know. But the choice is yours.