forthebest, thanks for the question. If I were to hear this from a girl I was dating, and the girl seems to be strong in her faith and has a positive attitude even with everything she’s gone through, I would be impressed, amazed, and feel incredibly lucky to be dating someone like that. Not only would I “accept” it, I would consider it a huge bonus. It means she has the ability to see everything positively, and use the tragedies in her life to make herself an even better person. And, I would be able to relate Climbing mountains, I can totally understand why you feel that way. Luckily it really does not take over my life and I’m able to not think about it- unless I’m really bored and am just lying in bed daydreaming (then I quickly become proactive!) The hardest part for me, I believe, is acceptance and knowing it was not my fault and there is NOTHING I could have done to prevent it. Before I began seeing my therapist, any time a great guy was suggested for me, I would cringe and think, “why would he want to go out with me?!! If only I knew what I went through! HE for sure has no baggage!!” This is obviously 1 million percent the worst way to think. (That’s also why I didn’t date ‘straight off the plane,’ as I knew I needed to work on myself). It’s not been easy retraining my mind to think, “yes, what’s happened, happened. Look at what you are accomplishing now!” My therapist asked (or gently suggested) that I discuss it with someone else that I’m comfortable with, but right now, I’m not at that stage.
Middlepath-wow is all I can say. You really have a way with your words. I can really never thank you enough for all your support you’ve given us all. I hope all guys have the same attitude as you do.