happiest, I wish I could give you a hug and make you feel better so here it is:
? Huge Hug ?
Now, there is something you need to keep in mind. You can’t control other people only yourself and you can’t change other people only yourself. AND men are so different from women. The only person you can really count on 100% is you. There is no way of knowing how someone else is going to react to your problems and issues, your moods, your ups and downs, or anything else. Some people appear to be strong but are really just mush on the inside and some appear to be very weak and really step up to the plate when they have to.
Women expect men to be really strong, and someone we can lean on. That is not always the case. Sometimes they can just cave and go “What do you want from me? This is too much for me to handle” It is only when a man is totally committed to the relationship that he doesn’t find it to be a burden because then your pain is also his pain, and your problem is also his problem. “just a friend” is not really a committed relationship like a parent to a child or siblings or a husband to a wife. It is terribly painful when we think, that a person is our rock and they are our support system no matter what. It really takes a very mature person to be able to be that support system and be there for us through our pain and our tribulations.
Happiest, I know that you don’t need additional pain to add to what you are already going through and you didn’t need another betrayal. But he might have felt he was getting sucked into a relationship that he didn’t want and couldn’t handle. You might NOT be on the same page and that is very frightening to feel that a girl may care about you and rely on you way more than you are willing to care for them and want them to care and rely on you. He might be getting advice from his friends and family to cut and run.
While you are still in recovery from your issues, it is probably not a good idea or a good time to get involved with anyone on such a close or personal level. As you can see it could be too devastating and hurtful when it is not going well. In addition, it is never a good idea to rely on anyone else too heavily and it would be much more beneficial for you to find your inner strength and learn to rely on yourself and trust yourself. It is important to have a support system. But support is different than reliance and you really need to be able to differentiate the two.
Happiest, if your health depends on this person, there is a huge problem here and you need to speak about it with your therapist not with your friend. I hope this helps in some way.