Health: Ain Zu Darka Shel Torah. You cannot come with a conclusion in mind and re-work sources to fit that conclusion. You have to have proofs that there is no Chiyuv to be Mekarev. When your proof is discarded then you are wrong if you cannot find another proof. You cannot just assume that you are right and that there must be another proof out there somewhere. I’m sorry that you experience with Ba’alei Teshuvah has not worked out well for you (honestly, mine hasn’t either; it takes a huge emotional toll to actually be Mekarev someone) but that doesn’t mean that you can therefore make a Halachic statement with no support.
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