I too, have a hard time controlling my anger. Advice would be appreciated.:)
Kapusta: What usually helps me is thinking (or talking to myself…but don’t tell anyone):
a- Why am I angry? Is it because of my sensitive, analytical nature, or has somebody truly done something wrong?
b- Is there anything I can do about the situation? Approach the guilty party? What should I say? (I formulate a little speech if relevant.)
c- Am I overreacting? Is it really that bad, or am I taking this too personally?
d- Am I expressing my anger to the wrong people (family)? If so, tell them you’re stressed out, and you need a little break.
e- Does the person I’m mad at KNOW I’m upset, or am I putting up a brave front being “nice” while boiling inside?
Also, keep a diary with your successes. Write exactly what the situation was, how you overcame it, and how you were able to be dan lekaf zechus.
Drink a glass of water.
Most of all, is Emuna. Remember that no one can ever do you any harm, unless it is Hashem’s Will. And if so, that person is just a messenger – why be mad at them?
Anger is a hard midah to break. It takes perseverence and patience to truly get rid of this trait. There’s no magic pill that eliminates it. But with hard work, we’ll both reach our goal bezras Hashem.
Hatzlacha Rabba.