Anger Management?

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    I’m alternating between frustration and anger right now as a result of dealing with something that B”H, has some pros but also brings along a good amount of stress. I’ve tried to do something about it (repeatedly) but it hasn’t worked as of yet.

    Any quick fix anger management solutions? I don’t believe this is physically or emotionally healthy.




    but seriously, the best way, although it aint easy, is to remember that its all in Hashem’s hands and you can only do what you can do but Hashem will bring the outcome that’s best for you. Hatzlacha!


    I too, have a hard time controlling my anger. Advice would be appreciated.:)

    Kapusta: What usually helps me is thinking (or talking to myself…but don’t tell anyone):

    a- Why am I angry? Is it because of my sensitive, analytical nature, or has somebody truly done something wrong?

    b- Is there anything I can do about the situation? Approach the guilty party? What should I say? (I formulate a little speech if relevant.)

    c- Am I overreacting? Is it really that bad, or am I taking this too personally?

    d- Am I expressing my anger to the wrong people (family)? If so, tell them you’re stressed out, and you need a little break.

    e- Does the person I’m mad at KNOW I’m upset, or am I putting up a brave front being “nice” while boiling inside?

    Also, keep a diary with your successes. Write exactly what the situation was, how you overcame it, and how you were able to be dan lekaf zechus.

    Drink a glass of water.

    Most of all, is Emuna. Remember that no one can ever do you any harm, unless it is Hashem’s Will. And if so, that person is just a messenger – why be mad at them?

    Anger is a hard midah to break. It takes perseverence and patience to truly get rid of this trait. There’s no magic pill that eliminates it. But with hard work, we’ll both reach our goal bezras Hashem.

    Hatzlacha Rabba.

    am yisrael chai

    quick fix anger management solutions:


    -exercise (both aerobic and yoga/tai-chi…)


    -brainstorm solutions

    -take a time out in a favorite place (park, ocean,…)

    -make a list of the pros and cons of dealing with that frustrating thing and if there is an alternative


    Btw, Dr Adahan and others say to thank Hashem for the opportunity to work on your middos!


    Here a good one. Try getting a sweet sounding screen name. Then in times of emergency think “How could a … get mad?”

    You don’t know (and don’t want to know) how I acted before I joined..

    moi aussi

    Try EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques (founded by Cary Craig)

    It treats both the symptoms and the underlying cause of anger. Anger is a result of fear and powerlesness.

    You can google EFT and learn the techniques online, join a workshop or go to a practioner. I know of Jewish religious practioners who give both workshops and private sessions.


    every time you feel yourself getting angry…bang your head against a wall…negatie reinforcement works 🙂 of course it may cause some serious psychological issues later…but its fine for a short term fix 🙂

    DISCLAIMER: My posts are usually absolute nonsense. Follow my advice at your own peril.


    Ohh, I knew I should’ve left the earwax alone… Seriously, that was actually kind of funny. More than just my subtitle. 🙂

    observe, thanks for the list. I’m not generally an angry person and maybe this will sound bad but I don’t want to just find a way to keep calm, I want to fix the situation. To me, keeping calm is just a band aid.

    AYC, thanks for the practical suggestions. And I like the middos improving thing.


    moi aussi

    I meant practitioner


    An interesting angle on this is something interesting someone said in that Anger is the dignity emotion, but it has to be controlled. Anger has it’s place and it is a symptom telling you to address something. Based on the parsha two weeks ago, Lech Lecha, I would say look at this matter as some sort of a test (and be grateful it is not on the calibre of what Avraham Avinu was tested on). Look the situation square in the eye and I am sure your intelligence will take it from there. Take the focus off the anger a little and put it more on the situation. You will get past this. Hatzlacha!


    Then in times of emergency think “How could a … get mad?”

    Just between you and me, how many heads of cabbage do you know that get angry?

    soliek, exactly what I was getting at. *bang*

    Thanks, everyone.


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