You wrote that no one ever gave you a chance in life. What chance was that that you would like to have had? Part of feeling good about yourself is also having goals and working towards them. You wrote that you haven’t made a decision what career you want. It can be hard to think of choices when you don’t feel good about yourself. it sounds like you might be waiting for a break; friendship, career inspiration, family support….
I think you need to take the bull by the horns and decide that feeling sorry for yourself (however justified you may be to feel this way) will not make you feel better tomorrow. It’s up to you to begin. Choose something small. Decide that you want to change your life. Don’t sit home if you’re lonely. The healthiest people I know acknowledge that they need help and have seen therapists. Find support groups. There are a lot of lonely people in this world. You just have to find one of them and be there for them. You’re not alone in feeling lousy about yourself. You need to choose how you want to handle it.
We develop our sense of self esteem when we are very young. It can be hard to repair this when you’re told that feeling good about yourself depends on “certain things” (careers, looks, money, marriage, etc). But, here’s the moment of truth. What do YOU want to be valued for?? Who do you want to be, and what are you doing to work towards that (that does not depend on other people)?
It sounds like you might be too depressed to think straight and that you might need help. Call the Tikvah clinic (ohel). They see people on a sliding scale fee, so if you have almost no income, they’ll adjust the fee accordingly. You have to love yourself enough to want to help yourself and take the first step. When you’re feeling better, you’ll be able to plan better for yourself.