“I did not make brochos are say special tefilos or pretend it was something which it was not.”
Well done! You really are A Heimishe Mom. Nothing like taking a birthday party in honor of your daughter’s becoming personally obligated to follow halacha and purposely removing every recognition of that fact and instead turning into a meaningless secular party for a secular purpose. You took an opportunity to make Torah real by bringing into EVERY aspect of life – not just beis yaakov, shul, and chessed projects, but something as mundane as a birthday party – and instead pushed the Torah away to the corner of the room as if to say, God has no relevance here.
But I guess if doing all that is part of the mesorah . . . .
But go ahead. Continue faulting people for making a definitive recognition of the religious significance of the birth of their daughter. Denigrate them for acknowledging God’s role in their lives and the future life of their daughter, not just in vague thought, but in definite speech and action.