I recently made a BAT MITZVAH and my daughters school has rules about these kinds of parties(She goes to a fairly hemish school) (They allow them, but want them limited) I did not like these rules and made my own party as I saw fit.
I wanted a special party so my daughter would remember it, but nobody else would
HEMISH relatives who dont normally go to these parties and if they go, stay for the absolute minimum complimented me on what a hemish party it was, they stayed the whole party ate, gave dvar torahs and had a good time,