yicuhusdik:
I don’t think the problem with pizza is that it is new per se. There are people who don’t eat turkey because there is no mesorah for it. But I don’t think that it is the same reason for not eating pizza. I think there are other factors that led to those communities assur-ing pizza. Such as the propensity of people to congregate at pizza stores (think ave.’s j and m on friday afternoon).
Large families do have other options- its not the first time in Jewish history that we’ve had families without much money that needed food to eat. There are plenty of alternatives. The difference is that those other options are not as tasty or “fun”.
But if there is at least some precedent; if the activities are within the boundaries of halocho, even if they are different than some minhagim; if the event is done lesheim shomayim and with real hakoras hatov to HKBH; is it against halocho to do it?
As I said before, the problem is not that it might violate halacha but that it violates a mesorah. Consider, if you would go to Rav Elyashiv and say, I would like to celebrate the birth of my daughter according to the way those parents did, what do you think he is likely to say? Unless he feels you are so far from Torah that by doing this you’ll at least maintain some ties to Judaism he is most likely going to say no. It is not what we do. For a reason. So you can circumvent this problem by not asking Rav Elyashiv and then saying that you are doing it l’sheim shomayim. But shomayim wants you to do what Rav Elyashiv (or your LOR) tells you to do, not what you think is the right thing to do. Hasme wants mitzvos l’sheim shomayim, not aveiros l’sheim shomayim (not that I’m saying its an aveirah, but you get my point).
What was the point of all of that effort if we and our children won’t be expected to use our seichel and our capacity to find guidance in the massive canon of halocho to help us make decisions in our lives?
I would say that the money we invest is to teach our children when to ask questions. If you don’t know there is a halacha of borer on shabbos, you won’t know to ask if you can pull your jacket out from the bottom of the jacket pile.
Yes, we need to learn Halacha and when we reach a certain level of competency in it, we will be able to make a comparative level of decisions on our own. But even the famous poseik Dovid HaMelech double checked his decisions with his Rebbe.