I think a person who has a chessed done for them should be grateful for whatever amount of kindness shown to them, whether or not it meets their expectations.
At the same time, a person who is doing a chessed should be happy to do everything possible to make the receiving party more comfortable. There is an idea called mitzvah goreres mitzvah, one good deed follows another. If a person does a chessed, there will be more opportunities to do more good deeds. Sometimes, those good deeds are simply dealing with the inconveniences along the way, which may be caused by the receiver of the chessed being a rude or insensitive person (like the receiver of real-brisker’s chessed), and bearing it with a smile.