Mytake, please stop saying “favor” and lets replace that word with “mitzvah” because thats what it is. Then lets understand the difference between favors and mitzvas. Jews are NOT obligated to do favors, however we are obligated to do mitzvos and chessed AND to do them b’simcha.
In addition, if we don’t do them with the proper kavonah we don’t get the same s’char.
One more very important point. If we don’t really want to do this mitzvah or we don’t do it with the right kavanah then we should NOT do it and give that opportunity to someone else.
RB, had you not picked up that hitchhiker, someone else would have and might have NOT had the bitter feelings you did but would have considered it a “test”. What if this was a specific nisayon Hashem sent to him, maybe he was tested by a specific malach that Hashem sent to test to see if he would get upset or do this chesed b’simcha. Who knows?
So RB, would you say you passed or failed the test? After 120, how would you answer your maker about this incident, would you tell him that that hitchhiker had such nerve as you are telling us? Or would you say that you are such a baal chessed that even though you were cold, you turned off the heat to accommodate your passenger, and even though you liked music, you turned it off to accommodate your passenger, and even though he gave you the wrong address you still went out of your way, etc. Will you make yourself look good or will you make him look bad? There are always two ways to look at it.
As far as mytake is concerned, there are organizations set up to help people in this situation and calling upon volunteers who choose to take chessed seriously and volunteer their time to do so, is what is depended on. This young lady who made her feel so uncomfortable had no businesses volunteering if she wasn’t serious. Someone else would have been happy to make the trip and do the job. Not only did she make the recipient feel uncomfortable and needy, she stole the opportunity for doing this mitzvah and this chessed from someone else. Does she really get schar chessed for picking mytake up from the hospital? That is questionable.
On the other hand if she asked her friend to lend her a car and the car she lent her was dirty and had no gas in it, she would have no reason to complain because that is NOT a chessed that is a favor.