Real, now I’ll get real. I think we all understand your point of view, but we think that you don’t really get where the OP is coming from. You won’t be able to understand unless you want to.
Any time a point is brought to light it seems magnified. When you notice a small design on furniture after owning it for three years, someone spent time contemplating exactly how to draw it. There is a ong way from being ungrateful to personally being upset about the eggshell in the pie.
Another point is that it is a wonderful thing to start aa Chesed organization. But once it is up people aren’t supposed to be made to feel like Shnorers. That would defeat the purpose.