Maybe a first step would be to recognize that it is OK to date someone OTHER than the precise “perfect shidduch” that your seminary has convinced you to marry, without thinking that this means you are lowering your stqandards. Maybe those standards were unrealistic to begin with. Maybe the boys who meet those criteria are not great husband material. Maybe the idea is to not be closeminded to the possibility that our bashert is different from what we thought we wanted.
I spent most of my dating experience looking for a guy who could sing beautifully (I come from a family of chazzanim and we always sang together on Shabbos and Yom Tov). I also wanted a guy with great middos, and a beautiful neshama, who was making a great parnassah. I got the guy with the great middos and beautiful neshama, but I first spent too many years looking for the other things (that I did not get), and still found that the best guy for me was the tone deaf teacher whom I met when I allowed myself to be open to such a shidduch. And I wouldn’t trade him. Did I lower my standards? No, I raised my chances for happiness.