Reply To: Want to know the difference between us and them?

I am going to open a new thread guys. Meet me over in “Middos Horror Stories…”

I have never encountered the worst middos until I became a part of the frim community.(I also have never encountered such righteous people with the best middos as well, until i became religious) It started back when I was modern in a modern orthodox shul and continues up until today where I stand in a ultra orthdox chassidic shtetl.

So the problem is me. Not them. Because I am from “the outside” and was raised not to snorkle my spit or swallow the mucus from my nose. They didn’t get that lesson. I don’t know how this worked its way into chassidic minhagim but even the women next to me in shul shabbos are doing it. It turns my stomache.

I was also taught not to stare. Seems that if you are new, weak, or vulnerable in any sphere they have a right to stare at you especially in grocery stores at the check out. I always wanted to ask them what they are staring at. But I dont know how to do it politely enough.

I was taught its rude to leave your baby carriage right in the center isle or on the inside of a grocery store mamish right at the front entrance so you trip over it going in or out. Its like they are clueless to the fact its in anybodys way. BUt how you could NOT be considerate of where people have to walk? I dont get it.

I was taught you say “Thank you, please may I have, or it was very nice of you to…” But apparently the norm here is you just order people by saying “Oh, and you can make me a coffee too”. Full stop.

I was taught that when you are in a telephone call you give your full attention to the other person and never NEVER EVER pay attention to what your child is saying to you. That you rather hang up politely before EVER telling the person “EXcuse me could you hold, my child needs me”…But here I have also adopted this new weird custom of putting the kids before the friend I am holding on my ear.

I love them. G-d bless them. Its just that I am so darn different.