Reply To: Does it really matter why kids go off the derech?

“My point is that it’s worth everyone spouting their boich svaros because while it might not help much in the quest of bringing people back, it does have an impact on the way people think, and causes them to think more about their behavior in the future, thus avoiding the issue to begin with.”

for people who take the time to actually consider what is being said, absolutely. when i see things people post, stories of how and why people go of the derech, i file it away for future reference so in the event that i ever happen across someone who is off the derech or messed for that reason i will be properly equipped to handle it.

the main thing i was addressing were threads like that other OTD thread in the CR where the OP sounds like that IS the definitive reason why kids go off the derech (please leave that discussion for that thread). but its not just that user, we get so many threads here about problems in the community and abuse and learning disability etc etc etc being THE reason why kids are going off the derech…i dont think the people writing those threads take the time to consider any other possibilities.

if you were talking to them in real life you would probably point that out to them and they would say “of course i know that its not the reason” but then continue vehemently telling you exactly why their reason is the reason.

so what i said in my OP is pashut, or should be, and people know it, but they dont remember it when they need to. im lightyears from the holy ramchal, but its kind of like what he says in his akdama about being something that people know but havent internalized. the idea that it is not important to pin down THE reason, rather be ready for ANY reason is a very important idea and one that we all should be constantly aware of because thats how you help people. not by trying to shoehorn them into your idea of what they must be, but by being able to adapt to their situation and accommodate their needs.