njsavta -Sorry to hear. I can relate, but mine have nothing to do with the school system (or very little).
But I wonder why do Frum people have a double standard? The Freye/BT person/kid they tell -whatever Mitzva you do is better than none. The FFB person/kid they tell whatever you do Is Not good enough. Since this is what they do -I’m really not surprised that we have so many going OTD!