Always running, I understand that it is hard for you to take this step and you have convinced yourself or he has convinced you that there is no help for you out there. Whether there is or not, is the second step that you have to deal with. The first step is keeping your kids safe and that is how do you remove them from harm. The easiest way is to remove your husband from the home. Speak to Sholom Task Force or go directly to the cops or court. Whatever you choose to do, come here for the support you need and we will give it to you. No matter how much you believe you are alone you aren’t. WE are here for you to listen and to support. You also have your doctors so don’t discount them.
Always, you brought these children into this world, let me reword that, you BOTH brought these children into this world and you are BOTH responsible and obligated to keep them safe even if that means keeping them safe from yourselves or each other. Your needs or your spouse’s needs are NOT more important nor even as important as keeping your children safe and healthy. THEY come first. Absolutely and without a doubt their safety and security comes first, not your spouse’s happiness nor his needs. I want to make that perfectly clear. YOUR children’s health and safety and yours comes before making life comfortable for your spouse.
It does not matter that his illness is now causing him to be nice to them and there is a calmness. You are all waiting for the axe to fall and the next explosion to happen. What if it happens when you are NOT at home and he starts swinging the baby around like a rag doll like that unfortunate chassidishe man in E”Y who killed his baby? You cannot predict what his angry outbursts or his depression will cause him to do to the children because he has no boundaries. He does not treat them with love and compassion and he cannot be trusted. HE is the cancer in the home and HE must be removed because he is causing too much harm and he can “kill”. You should have had your daughter seen by a medical professional if her head was slammed. She could have a concussion and that could be serious for a child. He could have cracked her skull open or caused brain damage, blindness or deafness. This was a warning for you. Next time you and your children might not be so lucky. Can you afford to wait? You are trying to protect him from himself, if he c”v causes a death in the family, or a hospitalization he will go to jail, you might also but one thing is for sure you will lose your children and they will lose both their parents.
Always, think about this, think about what I am saying. You are married to an abusive spouse who is not following Torah guidelines for a frum marriage. No, this is NOT what a frum marriage is supposed to be like. AND you are a mother of young frum children. Where are your obligations? Who needs your protection most? Your husband has choices here and your children don’t. HE can choose to go for therapy. Your children cannot do anything for themselves except to expect their mother to protect them. Either make the appropriate call to protect your children from a man who refuses to do what is right according to the Torah or I pray that one of the children have the s’yata d’shmaya to call the police themselves.