oomis1105
You hit the nail on the head, thank you!
We have indeed blurred the lines for the young generation of what is and is not appropriate behaviour and mixing of the sexes. Chatting at a shabbat table or a shul kiddush is hardly inappropriate for young people going to college or entering work.
No wonder people have huge shopping list of unrealistic requirements if they never have a conversation with a member of the opposite sex. If you speak to someone you makes you laugh the size of their wallet, weight or status is not always upper most in your mind! By treating marriage like a business investment, we are making young people and our whole community money obsessed to a shocking degree, this affects countless marriages afterwards, not a good way to start married life.
I was mocked for saying as our kids get married we try and think of their single friends, but we have seen at least four shidduchim take place as a result of introducing young people to one another at our simchas. We always make a young peoples l’chaim for every simcha, so allowing chosson and challa friends to meet up, they do and we have seen results. Age differences of a couple of years do not seem so noticeable when you actually MEET the person first before you hear their resume.
We are talking about people not commodities,parents should be wary of talking about future dates as lists of required ingredients, too much segregation and too little respect for actual Jewish youth lead both sides to view the other in an unsavoury and unnatural way.