I think it is safe to say that if anyone writing on this topic is thinking about joining the IDF, they would consult their Rav. So, if mine would say, go for it, and yours would say hell no, I dont see the problem. I will follow my Rav, and you will follow yours. Unless one wants to get into the very childish game of my Rav is bigger than yours, the discussion should end with this.
As an aside, I am wondering what the teshuva of R’ Moshe on “social dating” (platonic relationships with members of the opposite gender) has to do with sitting through a female member of the IDF singing hatikva (or its howdy doody time). I think a more appropriate teshuva would be the one that appears in the newest volume where he reconciles the issur lihistakel afilu bietzba ketana and the fact that there is no requirement for a woman to cover over certain limbs, depsite this issur. I’m not anyones Rav and see no reason to elaborate further. Anyone who has any questions in halacha would be best served by speaking to their Rav instead of the poskei CR.