I believe with all my heart that a Jewish man has an obligation to learn Torah (if he is capable of same, not all men are) every single day, for some portion thereof. I also believe that if he is getting married, his primary obligation according to the kesubah, is to provide for his wife and family. It is not HER obligation or her parents’ obligation to do so. If and when they do, it is a chessed on their parts. But it is no chessed to force her to work twice as hard as need be in today’s two-income necessity per family, in order for her to pick up the slack her husband is leaving by not doing his fiscal share.
Oomis: We are not working with the same set of facts. In the community I come from, the girls want their husband to learn just as much- if not more than- the husband wants to learn. They routinely will not even consider a shidduch with a guy who does not plan to learn at least 3-5 years after marriage.
I think when you look at the actual facts in our communities, you will agree there is no wrongdoing here.
If you want to criticize, I think you will need to go back a step and maybe criticize the culture which makes the girls want it.