I had a different situation a number of years ago, but of a similar nature.
Before I was married, I used to lain in a shul that was located about 45 minutes from where I lived. At the time, one of the families in the area gave me a standing invitation to eat with them if it rained, so that I wouldn’t have to walk back home in the rain. My mother and sister knew that if it was raining, they should not wait for me to make kiddush and eat.
One Shabbos morning, it rained and so I ate with the family. By the time the meal was over, it was no longer raining and so I walked home. When I got there, I found out that it didn’t rain over by my mother’s house and, as such, they waited for me.
So, without giving any indication that I ate by someone else, I made kiddush and ate again (although I didn’t eat too much by the second meal) with my mother and sister.
Now, I did this even though I knew my mother would not be upset if she found out that I had eaten. If your mother or wife *would* be upset, then you should make an effort to eat anyway, or else don’t stuff yourself by the kiddush.
The Wolf