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So, when there is a kiddish rabba after Shabbos davening, with cake, kichelech, soda, grape juice, fish, herring, gala, hot potato and lukshen kugels, hot chulent and kishka, and a host of those fatty foods that I don’t even know the name of, by time you get home for the seuda your mother or wife prepared you are about ready to hit the pillow. You couldn’t get another morsel of food in your mouth even if you tried. So, of course, you wash Hamotzi to be yotzei, but that’s about as far as you get. Now your poor mother or wife probably wonders why she worked so hard preparing that 5 course Shabbos seuda.
How do you handle it?
I had a different situation a number of years ago, but of a similar nature.
Before I was married, I used to lain in a shul that was located about 45 minutes from where I lived. At the time, one of the families in the area gave me a standing invitation to eat with them if it rained, so that I wouldn’t have to walk back home in the rain. My mother and sister knew that if it was raining, they should not wait for me to make kiddush and eat.
One Shabbos morning, it rained and so I ate with the family. By the time the meal was over, it was no longer raining and so I walked home. When I got there, I found out that it didn’t rain over by my mother’s house and, as such, they waited for me.
So, without giving any indication that I ate by someone else, I made kiddush and ate again (although I didn’t eat too much by the second meal) with my mother and sister.
Now, I did this even though I knew my mother would not be upset if she found out that I had eaten. If your mother or wife *would* be upset, then you should make an effort to eat anyway, or else don’t stuff yourself by the kiddush.
The Wolf
Gabi:- How about my schedule:- I go to Hashkomo & am home by 8.30, at which time I make Kiddush & Motzi for Seudoh Sheinies {accompanied by cake & ice-cream & nice dairy treats}; & my family loves this schedule; I can spend time with my wife & children. By lunchtime in winter & even in summer if after 1.30, I consume Seudo Shelishis [Cholent etc.], most of the time after I attend an early Mincho.
I circumvent issues of starving all Shabbos morning V eating before going to Shul to say my prayers, and circumvent issues of having 2 meals on a short Shabbos afternoon almost in immediate succesion.
Even if I do go out to a Kiddush later in the morning, I am not so ravenous to stuff myself; Even if I were, in winter time I would already be beDieved Yotzei Seudo Shelishis on basis of cake consumed at the Kiddush.
By the way, with my schedule, I don’t even have to alter times of my Davening, on Shabbos Erev Pesach.
Gut voch, gabi:
I assume that this happened in shul today. I’m quite sure that nobody in shul had a gun(it would be muktzeh) to anyone’s head forcing them to eat. This same dilemma used to happen in my house and when I saw how upset my wife was for not having a “family seuddah”, I stopped eating at the kiddush, just wished the ba’al simcha Mazal Tov and walked home to a delicous home-cooked meal with my wife and children. Some things are more important.
147, I think that the “seuda sheni” is supposed to be your main meal of the day, so just having a dairy snack isn’t proper for that meal. The cholent/meat should be eaten at that meal.
You people are such reshaim. It is a mitzva to eat the meal–so you eat it. It doesn’t matter if you are still “hungry”, you little babies.
For example, I eat the meal on purim even though I know I am going to throw it up in a few minutes anyway.
As my rebbi muvhak Jothar says, the whole year we sing ?? ?? ???? but on purim we sing ?? ???? ??, to me ???? that ?? ???? ?? ???.
Seuda Shilish is better to eat after davening mincha.
You people are such reshaim. It is a mitzva to eat the meal–so you eat it. It doesn’t matter if you are still “hungry”, you little babies.
I ate a SECOND meal and I’m *still* a rasha — and I get called a “baby” to boot.
Man, I just can’t win.
I guess that’s what I get for being such a rotten person.
The Wolf
Go learn S’A- youre not allowed to be stuffed before your seuda on shabbos morning. Thats how you handle it. See? Halachah cares about your wife more then your kiddush experience.
147- How exactly did you eat before shachris. Its assur.
How do you handle it?
It’s called self-control.
147- How exactly did you eat before shachris. Its assur.
Don’t be so quick to judge. Perhaps he got up before alos and davens at an early minyan.
The Wolf
147 didnt say he eats before davening. he said he circumvents the issue of having to eat before davening by davening early.
When there is a big kiddush at shul my neighbor doesn’t make choulent cause everyone comes home too stuffed. They just make kiddush and wash, a bit of fish and they are done. My husband does not eat at the kiddushim at shul because he would much rather come home and sit down like a mensch at the table and eat the seudah I prepared.
Toi: Go eat S’A. You’re not allowed to be stuffed before that either.
147- How exactly did you eat before shachris. Its assur.
He said he davens first. I think 42 is correct, though.
“I circumvent issues of starving all Shabbos morning V eating before going to Shul to say my prayers, and circumvent issues of having 2 meals on a short Shabbos afternoon almost in immediate succesion.” What am i misunderstanding.
Itch- So youre saying S’A isnt important. Could you further elaborate on your stance on the S”A’s relevance in daily life?
Aveirah Gorerret Avairah.
Not only did you show disrespect to your wife’s time and efforts in preparing the meal, you also show disrespect to her because she had to wait at home while you were stuffing your face with “cake, kichelech, soda, grape juice, fish, herring, gala, hot potato and lukshen kugels, hot chulent and kishka, and a host of those fatty foods that I don’t even know the name of”
What should you do?
Have self control and decide that you are not going to eat anything. Think to yourself that it’s treif and you won’t have much desire, if any. Wish Mazal Tov to the Baal Hasimcha, then go home and eat the nice meal that your wife or mother lovingly made for you.
Also apologize to your wife/mother for your past mistakes and tell her that you will be more considerate (and early) in the future.
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