Gut voch, gabi:
I assume that this happened in shul today. I’m quite sure that nobody in shul had a gun(it would be muktzeh) to anyone’s head forcing them to eat. This same dilemma used to happen in my house and when I saw how upset my wife was for not having a “family seuddah”, I stopped eating at the kiddush, just wished the ba’al simcha Mazal Tov and walked home to a delicous home-cooked meal with my wife and children. Some things are more important.