You have a chiyuv ksubah to your wife. Whatever is nechlal in that is a mitzva, a chiyuv, and makes Hashem happy. Anything over that which one does for himself is indulgence. I asked my chosson teacher how to avoid it and he said “daven”. If you think youre being a tzaddik by following these rules, youre wrong; it’s chav li’acheirim. More then that, youre copping out on a chiyuv di’oraysoh and a very special thing. And youre destroying your wife.
Menu