cshapiro, I have a suggestion for you. Why don’t you and your hubby make yourselves a cleaning schedule? Divide the work between the two of you, and do a little bit every night. Crank up the music and get to work. It might even be fun! You and hubby cleaning together for your first pesach! Don’t look at it as a chore but a project you two are tackling together, and a big mitzvah.
About living in Lakewood…you should speak to your husband about that since you’re so unhappy. Is there any way you could move?
Good luck!