March 13, 2012 12:53 am at 12:53 am #602458
i am officially desperate for a cleaning lady, ive asked everyone i meet, my husband asked his mexican workers if their wives or cousins would be interested but nothing 🙁
because i dont need someone 6 hours a day 7 days a week i am finding it very difficult to find anyone who would want to come for 2 or so hours…i dont mind paying more but i dont need someone for 6 hours…and the neighbors i know all have cleaning ladies who are busy….any advice!??!?March 13, 2012 1:00 am at 1:00 am #863334
There is an agency. They have lots of lousy people, but if you try a few you might find one you like.March 14, 2012 12:05 am at 12:05 am #863335i am hereMember
mayabe you can split it with someone and just get her for like 2 hours of the morning or something like that. we always shear her.March 14, 2012 3:36 pm at 3:36 pm #863336tomim tihyeMember
Ask the neighbors you don’t know. If you ask your whole area, you’re sure to find s/o for a few hours a week (but maybe they’ll only be available after Pesach- you probably don’t need one for Pesach cleaning.)March 14, 2012 4:16 pm at 4:16 pm #863337
tomim should i knock on peoples doors and ask….thats not my style…?? and of course i need someone asap i cant wait till after pesachMarch 14, 2012 4:28 pm at 4:28 pm #863338
Consider taking the Steipler’s advice:
Nempt ah bezim!March 14, 2012 5:00 pm at 5:00 pm #863339
bpt translation please?March 14, 2012 5:10 pm at 5:10 pm #863340mamashtakahMember
mayabe you can split it with someone and just get her for like 2 hours of the morning or something like that. we always shear her.
Why, is her fur too long?
Sorry, couldn’t resist this time. 🙂March 14, 2012 5:29 pm at 5:29 pm #863341
lol mamash good one!!March 14, 2012 5:50 pm at 5:50 pm #863342
” translation please? “
Gladly (but its gonna irritate Ms. Shapiro)
The Steipler was once approached by a husband who said, ” I come home, the house is a wreck, the place is in turmoil, my wife is not in control of the situation! What should I do?”
The Steipler’s answer: ” Get a broom!” (Don’t just stand there.. get involved and do something constructive. Its your house too, and you share the responsibility to make sure it runs smooth)March 14, 2012 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm #863343
i am constantly cleaning but i work full time now and its very overwhelming…March 14, 2012 11:38 pm at 11:38 pm #863344s2021Member
theres definately a gemach 🙂March 15, 2012 12:27 am at 12:27 am #863345abcd2Participant
to cshapiro:I am sorry but The asbury park press would have a field day with the Op. I would not advertise “that my husband asked his mexican coworkers if their wives or cousins were interested”It is extremely racially insensitive. The same statement could be said that my husband asked his coworkers for any references or whom they use.
Imagine if you are looking for a CPA and someone said I already asked my Jewish friends whom they use, or better yet someone wanted to play basketball and publicly stated I already asked all my black friends.
I am sure you didn’t mean it as such but the fact is cleaning help is menial labor and you publicly singled out the mexicans as being fit for such work, there are many nationalities that are housekeepers, and in this economy you would be surprised who would want to earn extra cash.
BTW did you think of hiring some frum teenage girls or boys?
As an aside with their new deal unionized maids in NYC can now make up to $60,000 a year plus benefits.March 15, 2012 12:58 am at 12:58 am #863346
abcd2 – Please get a life. 99.99% of cleaning help in Lkwd are mexicans. Therefore the statement made perfect sense. There was no racism involved.
Besides the fact that with the street corners full of mexicans hoping to get picked up for menial labor, I don’t think they’re too sensitive about it.March 15, 2012 2:22 am at 2:22 am #863347
man the cr is not what it used to be….anyways HELP people i wasnt looking to socialize im looking for cleaning help ASAP!!!March 15, 2012 2:52 am at 2:52 am #863349abcd2Participant
logicician: So you are saying that there was nothing wrong with someone assuming their fellow co-workers wives or their relatives would like to clean toilets?
Many of your bubbies and Zadies were fit for menial labor when they first came to america, imagine if all employers had the same attitude as you, and lopped all Jews together, we would still be seamstress and working in sweatshops.
Just because there are piles of people from the same country willing to, does not mean it was right to ask in such a manner. Would you in a million years ask anyone else you worked with,if their spouse would like to clean your house?
There is definitely prejudicial assumption and talking down to over here.
The only proper way to ask is how you would ask anyone. Not to ask straight out does your wife want to do menial labor.
If a worker would then volunteer his wife or a relative fine but to ask straight out is not right. How do you think the worker might have felt if his wife actually had a decent job or at least something not menial? But now he thinks that the Jewish boss assumes that this is what my wife and cousins are good for.
P.S. my mexican cleaning lady came here together with her sister. Her sister more easily overcame the language barrier and is a nurse, who actually did menial labor for a while to support herself through school.March 15, 2012 4:47 am at 4:47 am #863350commonsenseParticipant
You need to talk to as many people as possible. Now before Pesach it is harder to find because everyone took their cleaning ladies extra hours but usually from what I hear in Lakewood they are not so hard to find. Just ask everyone you interact with, at work, in local stores, your relatives, husbands chavrusas etc. Many people in Lakewood have cleaning women for only 2 hours at a time. Where in Lakewood are you looking, I could ask around for you if I know someone in that neighborhood. Also how often a week are you looking for?March 15, 2012 3:02 pm at 3:02 pm #863351
abcd2: There’s a difference when someone asks “Hey do you think your wife would want to clean my toilets?” vs. “Hey, my wife needs cleaning help desperately! Do you think your wife would be interested in the job?”
Its not just our bubbies and zaidies who were fit to clean, we are too! However, those of us that do work, find it easier to have cleaning help. Those that stay at home may feel overwhelmed. And if there is a group of people that are willing to clean for a living, why is it wrong to ask them? They know they are cheaper and thats how they get more jobs! (by the way, a number of my friends have had teh experience of having an african american cleaning lady and were not happy. It seems that mexicans are much more gentle around chandeleirs, glass, and delicate china/furniture)
Many mexicans (and other nationalites) are not yet american citizens and cant find work due to their illegal status. Asking them if they want a job that is off the books is not a bad thing, especially if they want the job!
I think i covered most of your points.
By the way, i dont beleive in hiring cleaning help. The one time that i did (whom happened to have been a mexican) i was extremely uncomfortable and i dont think i’d ever do it again!March 15, 2012 4:48 pm at 4:48 pm #863352
“i wasnt looking to socialize im looking for cleaning help ASAP!!! “
Uh, correct me if I’m wrong, but did’nt you just get married about a year ago? And you’re in crisis mode already?
If you are this strung out now, just wait till you have a brood of young’uns tugging at your housecoat, pots on the stove boiling over, child 1 and 3 with noses that need attention, and PTA in 30 minutes.
But I am glad to see that you found a nail salon that you’re happy with 😀March 15, 2012 4:49 pm at 4:49 pm #863353
“Asking them if they want a job that is off the books is not a bad thing”
It’s not a bad thing? it is certainly illegal even though its not enforced, i also agree it was not racial what the op said.March 15, 2012 5:52 pm at 5:52 pm #863354
abcd2 -I agree with you -that it’s not PC. But why must she be PC here? She isn’t posting on APP.
And another thing, a lot of my posts have been deleted because they weren’t PC. Why does YWN require PC -this site isn’t for the general public, even though anybody can come here?
We Americans are sadly losing (or lost) our freedom of speech -there are very few places in the media that still allow non-PC comments.
And yes, even racist, hateful speech is considered lawful under the Freedom of Speech article!March 15, 2012 6:06 pm at 6:06 pm #863355
oh u guys are too funny….
bpt i dont do bathrooms….and even tho we are two people it gets messy and i do clean but i need someone to do floors and vaccum and stuff, my husband does it but i feel bad asking him because we both work full time and its draining….
so if u guys dont want me hiring illegals off the book find me a nice frum lady and i will gladly hire her 🙂March 15, 2012 9:50 pm at 9:50 pm #863356
“i dont do bathrooms”
Oh. Here’s a 411 for ‘ya: Diapers are no picnic either. So I’d say you’re are in for a rather rude awakening, once the honeymoon is over.
But that’s ok. Young people should live in la-la land, thinking that all the unpleasant things about married life are just us old times exaggerating.
Enjoy the bliss, CS!March 15, 2012 10:25 pm at 10:25 pm #863357
iyh when we have children we are gonna have a nanny…i work hard for my money…March 16, 2012 2:54 pm at 2:54 pm #863358
The Goq: lol! That did come out sounding wrong! I wasnt supporting the idea that one should try to get paid or pay someone off the books, my point was from the “illegals” point of view. If they cant work legally cuz they dont have a legal status, for them its a relief to find a job that can pay off the books.March 16, 2012 3:26 pm at 3:26 pm #863359
“we are gonna have a nanny”
Again, oh. Now, consider the impact of what this entails:
You are going to have a strange woman (most likely, a non-tribe member) make herself at home, 24/7, who will read the kiddies a bedtime story, hold their hand when the have a fever, wave goodbye to them as the bus pull away.
And from time to time, you’ll attend a school play, go to PTA, and kvel when the kids do something to make you proud.
But will the kids feel that way towards you? Or to Marisa?
Not to mention the impact Marisa will have on the general aura of the house.
Like I said, CS. There’s a lot at stake. Choose wisely.March 16, 2012 3:55 pm at 3:55 pm #863360
cshapiro -“because i dont need someone 6 hours a day 7 days a week i am finding it very difficult to find anyone who would want to come for 2 or so hours…i dont mind paying more but i dont need someone for 6 hours…”
I just got a brainstorm. Hire s/o for a whole day -pay for a whole day and only take her for two hours a day. I’ll take her for the other four hours during the day. Problem solved.March 18, 2012 3:57 pm at 3:57 pm #863361
i would do that honestly at this point….i just need a person who will come do the cleaning…ANYONE!??! please help!!!March 18, 2012 4:07 pm at 4:07 pm #863362
cshapiro – Oh, I’m serious. I can’t afford to pay one & I need one – Pesach is coming.March 19, 2012 4:12 am at 4:12 am #863363
i have a good idea, u find me one and ill pay for her to come to u for a few hours…!!!March 19, 2012 4:29 am at 4:29 am #863364
cshapiro -It shouldn’t be a problem. I give the Mods permission to give you my email and we will work it out. But it’s gotta be worth it for me -like a few hours a week till Pesach.March 19, 2012 12:44 pm at 12:44 pm #863365squeakParticipant
Der Aibishter zol uphittinMarch 19, 2012 2:50 pm at 2:50 pm #863366
r u joking…u want me to pay for ur pesach cleaning!?! ughhh the cr really isnt the same as it use to be…March 19, 2012 4:37 pm at 4:37 pm #863367
” the cr really isnt the same as it use to be.”
I’ll do it for free…if your husband is willing to roll up his sleeves and work shoulder to shoulder with me.
It’ll be a learning experience for both of us 🙂March 19, 2012 4:43 pm at 4:43 pm #863368
cshapiro – You’re right. Go hire a cleaning lady from the Frum ladies that do this service. Do you know why they charge $9 or more per hr., instead of 6? Because they have to pay the Frum lady $3/hr. I actually was doing you a favor only asking for Pesach hours.
If you want me to find you a cleaning lady now, I’ll take $3/hr., just like the Frum women do, for as long as the cleaning lady works for anyone that I set her up with. You obviously don’t know how things work in Lakewood.March 19, 2012 5:29 pm at 5:29 pm #863369
Ur right H i dont…but i do know that i dont really like anything in lakewood at all except for my husband and the chinese farmers market on route 9 where the lady always smiles at me and says hello 🙂
its funny cause here the people are all mostly from flatbush or boro park originally but they arent my speed….i have no intention of fighting to get my kids into school (they want u to be in kollel but they want u to have money also and pay full tuition?!?!)and i think its ridiculous the way everyones watching u and reporting back to ur husband….i am not living my life for other pple but it bothers me that other people feel the need to talk about me and then it gets back to me…March 19, 2012 7:36 pm at 7:36 pm #863370
” talk about me and then it gets back to me “
” get my kids into school..they want u to be in kollel ”
Let me guess, CS. You went to the supermarket with a baseball cap over your shaitel, and the ‘nabes had a fit.
Welcome to Lakewood!
So, at this point, you have 2 choices:
* Learn to blend in (think snoods that cover your ears, and flaired skirts)
* Move back to Brooklyn
Choice is yours, but I know where I’d pickMarch 19, 2012 11:21 pm at 11:21 pm #863371Queen BeeMember
cshapiro, I have a suggestion for you. Why don’t you and your hubby make yourselves a cleaning schedule? Divide the work between the two of you, and do a little bit every night. Crank up the music and get to work. It might even be fun! You and hubby cleaning together for your first pesach! Don’t look at it as a chore but a project you two are tackling together, and a big mitzvah.
About living in Lakewood…you should speak to your husband about that since you’re so unhappy. Is there any way you could move?
Good luck!March 20, 2012 12:30 am at 12:30 am #863372MDGParticipant
“i think its ridiculous the way everyones watching u and reporting back to ur husband….i am not living my life for other pple but it bothers me that other people feel the need to talk about me and then it gets back to me… “
I find it sickening that in such a Torah community there seems to be such L”H.March 20, 2012 2:15 pm at 2:15 pm #863373
cshapiro: lol! thats one of the main reasons i didnt move there! Lakewood is not for everyone. And, yeah, Queen Bee made an excellent suggestion. I do it with my husband and (sadly?!) this is “our time” together! After the kids are sleeping, we get to work on cleaning up! My hubby is not always home, and working full time does not help matters in the housekeeping dept either. So we do what we can.
I try not to go to sleep until the counters are clear, floors swept, bathroom sanitized, dishes washed and table washed. In the morning, we’re early risers (except hubby!!), i wash floors, clean the bathroom (yes again!!), and spray cabinet doors, and counter tops. If i dont have time, i do it later or the next day. Its actually a very accomplishing job to do. There’s a certain nachas ruach that you get when you walk into a clean house. My kids pitch in too according to their ages.
Bottom line is, if you make time for it, it can be fun. Call someone while you fold laundery or some other project, it passes the time.
Good luck!March 20, 2012 3:07 pm at 3:07 pm #863374
lol my mother told me not to go to sleep till the house is clean, yea right!!! i come home from work so drained and i start dinner or i watch tv while i clean our room but the bathroom aint cleaning itself and the carpet could use a vacuum. folding laundry and making beds are easy its the kitchen and the bathroom i struggle with….literally i need someone for about 1-2 hours but so far nothing….:( and i dont wanna share with someone because then we can only get our house clean when the neighbor also wants the lady to come….thats crazy!??March 20, 2012 3:22 pm at 3:22 pm #863375mom12Participant
wake up and smell de coffee!
If you plan on having a nanny whats the point in having children.
If you want to just play with them go to a nursery school or a babysitting service for a few hours a day..
bringing children into this world and have a nanny take care of them –well.. wrong and not fair..March 20, 2012 3:46 pm at 3:46 pm #863376
just curious MOM….do u and ur husband work full time?March 20, 2012 3:55 pm at 3:55 pm #863377No One Mourns The WickedMember
You live in lakewood and have a TV?! Shame Shame..March 20, 2012 4:11 pm at 4:11 pm #863378
No One Mourns The Wicked – I don’t have a TV. I don’t know where you live, but here in Lakewood there is no difference acc. to them between a TV & the Net. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones!March 20, 2012 5:37 pm at 5:37 pm #863379
No One Mourns The Wicked: lol! the same thought went through my mind!
Health: true about lakewood and some yeshivos in brooklyn too. although i have to say that having the internet “for work related reasons” is the same as having the internet…;)March 20, 2012 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #863380No One Mourns The WickedMember
Health: Oh don’t get me started on the hypocrisy…March 20, 2012 8:08 pm at 8:08 pm #863382PosterMember
miritchka, i gve you a lot of credit the way you keep your house clean. I agree 100% that walking into a clean home is a nachas ruach and after I read your post it gave me a push to go a clean my kitchen.
Bye for now folks!March 21, 2012 2:30 am at 2:30 am #863383
Just as an aside –
1. The argument goes the other way around – with most guys in kolel, how could they give off tuition for that, and survive ?
2. Tuition is substantially cheaper than in NY.March 21, 2012 2:38 am at 2:38 am #863384yitayningwutParticipant
This might seem a bit unorthodox but why not put a classified ad in the BP Weekly or one of the other weekly publications, asking if a BY girl wants a job cleaning your home while she’s off? I’m sure there’s someone out there who isn’t needed in her house, can’t find a babysitting job, and would be interested in doing this. I would say a yeshiva guy but that might be pushing a little too far.
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