Stand up for a lady, unless you are infirm in some way. It actually IS harder for some of us to stand on the train. I remember standing up for a pregnant woman with another child, when NONE of the able-bodied men would, They either buried their noses in a paper, or actually closed their eyes when they saw her come in. Sorry, but that is just not acceptable behavior. Our society not only is showing poorer manners, but now you are looking to JUSTIFY that sad state of affairs???? On the plus side, I actually noted a Yeshivah bochur get up for a woman once, and I was impressed and wanted to ask what Yeshivah he goes to.
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