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Good point. Let’s read the gemara. Gemara says on 14b that they would tell each other which families they were not allowed to marry. So we’ll do that.
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yes indeed that is what they did. it is tremendous shvach for basi shammai and bais hillel that they were able to handle this very bad situation with dignity.
but it was still horrible. we dont want that back. and we are not bais shammai or bais hillel and would not be able to handle it anyway.