awarenessvaad- You started with saying that people are unaware of their needs and as such have been ignoring same. Then you agree that they are focused on their needs “BUT they are consciously unaware of this. Accordingly they become “needy people” steadily involved with satisfying their needs even at someone elses expense.”
According to your logic, this emotional detachment should start immediately. If “GIVING is the foundation of a marriage” -which I happen not to agree with- and “its impossible to give my spouse their needs since I am not in touch with the concept of NEEDS!!!!!!!!” then actually, the emotional bond should never have been created to begin with!
Most newlyweds have an emotional bond because they ARE giving. There will be frustration and disappointments on both sides as each learn what they need to give, but the bond is there/
I would venture to say that a reason for the emotional detachment that exists in some couples married for more than several years is that life itself gets in the way. We are too busy with trying to find enough time to daven, learn, work, eat, take care of children, sleep, relax a bit etc… that couples forget that an emotional bond needs time and work to keep it strong.
Btw, giving is the foundation of love, not marriage. The ???? of ???? is ??, which means to give. Your giving to your children causes love, not marriage.