Repharim:
I would like to address your point, especially as I am ‘one of those Kiruv people who sugar quote Judaism’
I will ask you a rhetorical question, and obviously my words will be backed up by ‘proof’ as you say!
Here goes. For the benefit of the readers, please tell us how many times you spaced out during Davening today. (please don’t say a number, but unless you are on an extremely high Madregah and spend countless hours working on your Davening, probably you space out MANY times)
How about learning? Do you space out during learning? Have you ever forgotten something that you learned? Chazal say that someone who forgets something he learned is ‘Keilu mischayev benafsho’
Should I keep going through all the Mitzvos or are you ashamed enough. (shemiras einayim! For example! You ever looked at a women and thought she was pretty!)
Hashem does not ‘need’ anyone’s Mitzvos! Not your’s, nor mine, nor the greatest Tzaddik! Hashem does not get upset or angry if every Jew is Mechalel Shabbos 5000 times every single Shabbos.
He has pUt us on this world for one reason and one reason only.
(if your school taught you that your purpose in life is to ‘avoid hell’ as you call it, keep on reading)
the Mesilas Yesharim, or as you would call it, the Really-scary-you-are-going-to-Gehinom-Mussar Sefer’ says, Veha’adam Lo Nivrah Elah Lehisanag El Hashem, man was only created to take pleasure in Hashem, and to benefit from His presence for that is the greatest pleasure and truest pleasure greater than any other pleasure in the world!
The Rambam at the end of Hilchos Teshuva says that our Tachlis is to come close to Hashem and love Him and connect with Him, with a hugely deep and beautiful connection until you are so involved and close with Him that you are ‘love-sick (nafshi cholas ahava)
That is the Rambam’s opinion on what Judaism is all about!
We were created to have pleasure, to enjoy this world to the max!
We can have this pleasure if we desire Hashem, and if we think all day about getting close to Him and loving Him.
He doesn’t need anyone’s Mitzvos, He merely gave us the opportunity to have the most pleasurable experience.
(He doesn’t stand with a clip-board checking off, “So who has been doing My precious Mitzvos today)
So let me ask you, who are YOU to start judging who is and who isn’t keeping the Mitzvos?
Your Mitzvos are the chosen ones?
As far as ‘telling people to only take on new things slowly”, Rav Schwab writes that the reason why there were no steps on the Mizbeach, is because in your Avodas Hashem you should be moving very slowly upwards. No jumping up steps.
Here’s the proof. Last year by Yom Kippur, you probably said, Hashem this year I’m going to be so good! I’m gonna Daven like Reb Chanina Ben Dosa, and I’m going to learn like the Vilna Goan and I’m going to say every Beracha from a siddur like the Manchester Rosh Yeshiva, and I’m going to see Gadlus Habore in every creature, like Reb Avigdor Miller.
Actually in reality most people have no idea what Kabalos they took on during Neiloh! And the lucky people that do remember, probably don’t do them anymore.
Additionally, how can you even take on Kabalos? That would imply that you are less than perfect! And if you are less than perfect, aren’t you anyways going to be the recipient of the Kelalos in Bechukosai?!
Rav Dessler writes a piece called ‘Nekudas Habechirah’. He says, imagine a guy who is so Frum and holy and special and he has one Nisayon (any Nisayon) and he fails, if he comes from a background where people should know better, than he is worse than a Jewish Mafioso who was brought up in the Mafia, who decides one day to only break the legs of five people instead of his usual ten.
Because the Mafioso was brought up in a Mafia home, he may have no idea that it is wrong to break people’s legs. So for him to overcome his nature and upbringing and utilize some self control, he maybe greater and closer to Shleimus than the other person who was brought up knowing right and wrong.
Ok, I feel I’ve trashed your misconceptions about Yiddishkeit enough.
No one in Kiruv says that you ‘don’t have to keep Shabbos’
Here is something we might say.
Ok so you are anyways going to drive on Shabbos, why should that stop you from lighting Shabbos candles! That’s beautiful.
Just because someone does something wrong or they struggle with Shemiras Hamitzvos, does that mean they can’t make tiny baby steps to come close to Hashem!? Where does it say that only if you keep every single Mitzvah are you worthy and if you can’t keep them all then don’t do anything? It’s garbage. Every little tiny bite sized piece of effort makes you closer to Hashem.
Ask any woman. She is only interested in a husband that cares. A husband that just buys jewelry and flowers but does not show interest or care about his wife’s needs, his wife will have no joy in anything that he buys.
So too with God. Only showing care about what He thinks is important, will develope the relationship, just ‘doing’ Mitzvos, doesn’t mean very much to Him at all.