I think you have a very valid concern, but I do believe that everything is so min hashamayim that there is so no need to let it eat you up, which trust me i know is easier said then done.
Now I do not think anyone from my seminary was brainwashed at all especially with a mindset like that! But I really could only talk for myself. I went to a very frum Bais Yaakov Seminary, and The number one stressed point was TORAH IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD! from this we were taught that it is something you truly need to build your life upon. My seminary was a mix though, and so there was no cookie cutter command saying you are bad if you do not marry a full time learner! We were shown the importance of marrying someone who has chashivus hatorah and who loves torah more then anything else! THIS DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN A FULL TIME LEARNER! I believe it is a mentality and mindset. There are girls who are not ready or built to give up enough to have a full time learning husband, but are still amazing great girls. They also may not have support from their parents, which is a whole other story…. My point is that I think it is important to marry someone who considers torah most important, but that can mean learning in the morning seriously before work and having a set shiur and chavrusah at night. It’s not how much time they are spending doing each task, but which is more important and which they are living their life upon! I feel like I am really not clear, but I think you have nothing to worry about as long as you are someone who loves learning and understands that your torah is your main job and that your physical work is just a side and part of olam hazeh… it is not which is receiving more time, it is which is more loved by you? Which is your focus in life? Good luck in all you do!