HAPPY2BALIVE:
To say that your problems are self-imposed, i.e. that you have set your standards too high (as “ronrsr” psoted above), is blaming the victim – to make you feel guilty on top of your already low feelings. I would say to definitely ignore such advice. Rather, I believe you should concentrate on ways to increase your emotional devotion in Tefilla (it may already be high, but always can improve) and doing acts of Tzedaka and Chesed that will increase your Zechusim. I know someone who had a “miracle child” born after he worked very hard to continously do acts of Kiddush Hashem over a period of time – not big acts – just small things such as helping people “Shlep” their bags from the store, holding doors open, going out of the way to show honesty in money matters openly etc.- to show people how wonderful a Yid behaves – and after each act of Kiddush Hashem, he was Mispallel (in one sentence in English) that the merit of the act of Kiddush Hashem should lead to having a child. It worked.
It was said about Rav Schwab ZT”L that when he found some money on the floor in a train station, he told his son that he (Rav Schwab) will return the money to the token booth clerk (although Al Pi Halacha, he could keep it) and he would “put his beard in the window” of the token booth to show the clerk how a Yid acts honestly. I think doing such acts of Kiddush Hashem are a very big Zechus and after each such act, you should ask Hashem in your own language that in the Zechus of this act, He should bring your Shidduch to you soon (but don’t take it from me alone; ask your Rov if this sounds like a good idea). Don’t be afraid to “talk to” Hashem and explain in your own words how desperate you feel and how much it would mean to you (and how much more complete your Avodas Hashem would be) to find your Shidduch. Of course Hashem already knows your feelings and needs, but our Avodah of Tefilla requires that we express this in words to Hashem. If you want to post your matrilineal name, I will be happy to Daven for you. May you be Zoche to find your intended Shidduch very soon in a most pleasant and happy way!