Since this post is unlikely to contain other than the obvious, I want to introduce an element of controversy.
It is all too often that people in the frum world suggest to turn to a Rov with marital problems such as this. I find that problematic. Most Rabbonim I know, albeit well meaning, have no idea when to guide such a couple toward reconciliation or divorce. Neither do they know when to have the wife confront the husband on his behavior, or allow her to continue to monitor it, whether by making observations or snooping. Many Rabbonim will listen to one side, get “hooked”, and become oblivious to even stark facts reported by the other. The average Rov of a shul gets shell shocked when he assumes the mantle, rises to the pulpit, and discovers there is more to rabbonus than saying divrei Torah a few times a week, perhaps a daf yomi shiur, and getting honors at simchos. It can easily become a 24/7 job (yes, Rabbonim work on Shabbos) when they have to be available to counsel and guide their congregants and mispallelim through their personal difficulties. There was zero training for this in kollel!
I have learned to avoid the well intended but useless advice to contact a Rov for psychological and family problems. Without a doubt, there are some rabbonim who are astute, wise, and learned, and they may be capable of serving as personal guides for families in trouble. I also am a firm believer in ??? ?? ???? ?? ????? ??. Torah has the answers. To date, we have not figured out how to use Torah to determine whether a sore throat is strep or not. The Torah itself offers the advice to turn to the doctor. Mental health is no different. Our community is gifted with many frum mental health professionals who are qualified as both expert in their fields as well as yirei Hashem and bnai Torah. It is as competent for a psychologist or social worker to pasken shailos as it is for a Rov to undertake to do therapy. I know this will ruffle some feathers, but I anticipate lively and meaningful discussion.