Buster -“It was all very helpful but the main problem is I was tolls by a very prominent gadol not to tell my husband what I found on his co outer because he will be so filled with feeling of shame that he will see now way out but leaving the marriage.”
I’m not going to argue with the Godol like some posters here did.
To me this isn’t your job (discussing where he is going on the Net with him). Quite frankly, you have to get him into therapy. Make an appt. for him and tell him simply -“I made an appt. for you with so and so because you are addicted to the Net and if you don’t go -I am leaving.”
But you must be prepared to act upon your threat. Empty threats do more harm than good. Personally, I think spouses should do this for other addictions too, like smoking – instead of making excuses for them.
Is the guy “Crazy” for going to these places on the Net? No. Does the spouse have to just “let it be” and ignore what’s happenning? No. G-luck.