@jbaldy22 Really? Are you kidding me? Tell me how many psychologists did we have before psychology was even a word? You don’t automatically need to send someone to a mental institute because he doesn’t perfectly conform to your world. Everyone is different and this issue is so common and so so easily avoided. Also, ohr chodosh is wrong as are you. One of the wifes responsibilities is to keep her husband in check. If he’s not going to shul – nag him till he goes, if he doesn’t learn bug him till he does. If he does stupid masochistic things on the internet you stop him so he can’t do it anymore. You *DO NOT CARE* about your husband if you do not help him work on himself. PERIOD. He is destroying his soul, his marriage and his children by watching that stuff. You gave absolutely ZERO logical explanation as to why my method is not simple and effective. Think two steps ahead my friend of *your* solution. Send him to a psychologist? Really? REALLY? You honestly think that sending a guy to a psyc is LESS embarrassing then installing a filter? I mean….are you for real?
@Bustercrown your rav most likely did not understand the severity of the situation. You MUST tell him, the utter shame that he would face if any other person in the world told him other than you would be farrrrrr greater….think about it, he would know that not only do you know but you went around talking about it to other people. Do you really think his shame would be less like that?
You are the *best* person to intervene. You must get his trust back. Explain to him that he lied and really hurt your trust, explain to him that you understand that he gave in to his evil inclination and that you are there to help him. Don’t be stupid and avoid it until it eats your marriage inside out. Don’t be stupid and listen to these idiots who tell you to send him to a psychologist- THAT alone could destroy your marriage from the shame of knowing that you told other people.
If you are not strong enough to do this yourself then you do something even better – install the filter on the computer, password it – tell him that you are installing it for the children. If he asks you for the password counter his question with asking him why he needs it. Obviously he will make up a legit site to go to and just tell him that if he needs to go to a site you will be more than happy to help him – but under no circumstance should you give him the password. Don’t ever let him watch you type it in, don’t make the password anything he will ever figure out. Check on the computer occasionally that the software is installed – you never know because he could uninstall it. IF he does uninstall it – the only thing you can do at this point is tell him the truth and do it nicely, calmly, understandingly and he will thank you in the long run.