yeshivishsocrates -“What you felt was missing from my post was precisely my point, that all he and she need is eachother and some will power. Its a dangerous problem but not one that is difficult to overcome with some will power. When i said that help is useless, i meant that it isnt necessary, its a problem which can and should be overcome within oneself, or within a couple.”
I understood your point, the first time. Don’t need to post it ten times.
“Hes struggling with an issue whose main weapon is convincing the sufferer that hes not suffering. That is the main problem of the husband, that he believes that what he is doing is not wrong. he needs just to learn some mussar, understand the cataclysmic effects of the aveiros which surround these nocturnal activities and through this, arrive at the realization that he needs to effect a change, WITHIN. He doesnt want to stop right now, he just wants to want to stop, when he does want to, hell find it alot easier than you may think.”
Yes, thank you for repeating your point over and over and I’ll repeat mine one more time. Even though it’s possible for anyone to stop on their own -the liklihood is next to none. And it’s ridiculous to say he doesn’t realize what he’s doing is wrong -he realizes it.
You must of gone to the Asifa where you picked up the notion that the solution to this problem is standing on your soap box screaming – Shaigetz! This won’t work, but going to a therapist has a good chance of working.
You still didn’t answer my question if all a person needs to do is work on themselves without outside help – why is smoking still allowed in most Yeshivos? Let them just stop. And if they experience some side effects (withdrawl) – so what? Let them just learn more Mussar about Yisurim. There is nothing that is holding them back from stopping cold turkey. If they don’t want to – let them learn more Mussar. And in case you don’t realize – smoking is Assur Gamur! We have a few topics about this in the CR – one was pretty recent!