yeshivishsocrates -“ultimatums are a bad idea,”
They aren’t a good or bad idea. They are a last resort measure.
“she should stand by his side and help him, be supportive.”
I think she is, but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t take action.
“Being forced to quit something breeds resentment and hostility. If he does quit based on this ultimatum, something is missing in his commitment to quitting. He needs a warm and healthy environment, not one of supercilious condescension pressuring him.”
You should also read the Post(s) before commenting. You’re so wrapped up with this idea of him having self-control that you didn’t begin to get my point. The ultimatum is for him going to get help. I’ll reiterate from previous -it’s not her responsibility to get him to stop his behavior. All she has to do is try to get him help. If she pressures him to go for help and he does, hopefully he’ll respond to the therapy. If he doesn’t go or doesn’t respond to therapy, then she should consider divorce.
This should only be considered with guidance, not from family & friends, but from a Rov Experienced with Sholom Bayis and/or a therapist.