Many times it happens to be keeping up with the jones’. A wedding is a big party where you get to shop till you drop, you get to be the center of attention where everyone showers love and gifts on you, you get to “play house” with someone you’re (hopefully) attracted to. Then real life sets in. You’re on your own with cooking every meal, shopping, cleaning, doing laundry, working, having to be financially self reliant very often, not to mention having to deal with disagreements about things that can seem or even be very major. That’s when emotional maturity becomes of utmost importance. That’s when the ikar of getting married comes into play.
Let’s start with having kids. We want to get married because we want to have kids and a family of our own. Our parents don’t live forever. You can share time with a roommate but you don’t build a life with one. Common goals worked on together become the future of your lives shared: Raising a family, helping each other and your children grow in Yiddishkeit. Part of the opportunity to grow in our emotional maturity presents itself best within the marital context. We learn about the areas we have to work on (if we recognize our part in our challenges). We’re chalkenged constantly to look beyond ourselves. We’re also created to want to have a close relationship with someone that we can’t have before marriage.
Yes, marriage can be hard, but so is remaining single. Fear of failure perpetuates itself. Getting married is about taking chances. You have to be willing to take the chance of failing if you want the chance to succeed.