Mammele -“I am not his therapist, but I do have some common sense.
YOU can tell him what to do, i.e. seek therapy, which I’m not going to disagree with, if his opinion about himself is really so low — I’m not sure he’s not exaggerating it a bit.”
Telling s/o to go for help is Not the same thing as saying -Oh this idea will help you.
“I feel I’m allowed to add my two cents of something I think might be helpful with or without therapy.
He’s still free to do as he pleases. If he tries it and doesn’t gain enough from it, he can realize he’s in far too deep and seek therapy then. It was basically a suggestion which I doubt any therapist would disagree with or consider harmful.
I know you are very anti-meddling and believe in leaving everything for the real pros. Problem is many of us don’t seek it out for various reasons. If I was confident he’s planning on therapy I would have shut up. It didn’t seem that way to me.”
See this is your mistakes. First of all, why does e/o who sees something wrong in s/o else have to correct them?
Second, even if your Eitza is a good one -it can only have a Not good outcome. People only (usually) seek help when they hit rock bottom. So if your Eitza is partially effective, all it will do is delay or totally exclude him from seeking mental help. People who have so low self-esteem need professional help. It’s like putting a band-aid on a major wound. The wound needs professional intervention -covering it up – just helps you pretend it’s not something that needs attention! And yes, it made my job much harder. I once couldn’t understand why a guy’s finger wouldn’t stop bleeding -it was such a small wound. The answer came because he dumped a lot of liquid bandage on it. Products like New Skin are very effective for what they are made to do. They don’t stop bleeding. So all my pressure on the wound wasn’t working because there was this hard goop between the pressure and the bleeding site. So to stop the bleeding I had to put some anti-bleeding chemical on it.
Sometimes little things do more harm than good.