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#898173
just my hapence
Participant

The Chofetz Chaim has quite a bit to say about shidduchim and giving information. The halocho is that unless you know of a SPECIFIC defect that is almost certain to have a detrimental effect on a marriage it is completely ossur to offer the information if not asked for directly. Being ‘not a top learner’ is in no way such a thing, nor is being previously engaged (both these are written mefurash in chofetz chaim as being so). And, as other people have pointed out, you are seriously nogeiah here. I have a few friends who, when I was asked about them for shidduch information, could not see how the girl being offered was right for them. Of course, because it is not my place to offer opinions only information, I said nothing. They are all happily married. So yes, negius makes a whole lot of difference. Remember, your cousin is old enough to decide for herself, she is a grown-up, mature, rational human being who is intelligent enough to make her own decisions. If she feels, after having dated him and found out about him, that he is right for her, let her make that decision for herself.