When I was dating ( now I am super happily married bH bH) attraction was important, but just one of many things that are important to look for. Sometimes I feel like people don’t put enough emphasis on attraction, then on the other side of it you have people putting too much emphasis and people become too superficial.
I looked for midos like, did he hold the door for people behind him. How did he act with his mother , was he respectful and kind?
Did he have a good work ethic? ( my husband has a fantastic bH work ethic, and always wants to provide for our family no matter what).
The first time I watched him daven, I think it was on a yuntif, I knew there was something very special about him. Even now all this time later if I can I like to watch him daven, i can’t explain the feeling, he just has a lot of cavanah, I hope one day to have the same.
At the time I was looking for someone working and learning, he was doing both.
Hope that helps!