I agree with you that sometimes some people exagerate, and it is wrong. Having said that, in this case it is not an exageration — it is a halocha in Shulchan Aruch. What’s the p’shat? The explanation is as follows: doing negia with an erva makes a terrible stain on a Yid’s neshomah. So HaShem would rather he die then do it. Post factum,, it is not so terrible that a sanhedrin would be obligated to go after him and execute him.
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