Bechira can be applied anywhere.
True, you do not logically convince yourself to be attracted to someone. It is an emotional process but it is possible in a case where you truly want it.
“It is as someone described earlier – was it you ?” yup yup “that attraction is not based just on the physical, and so as the relationship develops, so do those feelings.”
I stand by what I said. I do not think the physical attraction is immensely important while dating. It is highly important in a marriage however, but your perception of your significant other’s looks change with time so the marriage should not be based on her looks! Just think for yourself if you feel your wife has become more beautiful with time.
“And it doesn’t have to do with values – we’re talking about accepting “flaws” in the physical.”
For me, I only seek a man who has the same vision for the future as well as the ability to get there. That is all. A picture will show me nothing about him than I can see in person.
The majority of people do not have actual flaws in their appearance. I really cannot understand the purpose in a picture. Is it to prove that the shadchan/friend did not mess you over with someone dysfunctional? If you have so little trust in the whoever set you up, then I do not know how you would be able to trust anything from them.