binahyeseira-
OK,
Here’s where I got stalked…
A neighbor had a suggestion for me at the same time that the most dreaded shadchan I ever dealt with also had an idea.
In all fairness to both girls I took all their information and did a normal amount of research. The girl that the neighbor suggested, despite being a 3-4 hour drive, sounded more promising.
So who thinks you could just say “no” to a shadchan and just hang up? Not me. I answered no, saying that not only did I feel that she wasn’t for me, I was also busy (and refused to give any more information).
So she decided to up the pressure. She found out who I was going out with, where she lived and when I was going out. She had her girl fly out to the same city and she let me know that “just in case it doesn’t work out… while you’re still in the dating mode… still have a rental car… she’s right there, ready to go out on a moments notice”.
I told her that I never think about another shidduch, no matter how bad the current one is going, until it’s over and both parties know about it. (This is just my opinion, but I think it would be very offensive if a girl I finished dating found out I was dating someone else before the shadchan informed her that it was over.)
Anyway, the girl I went out with that weekend said no and somehow the shadchan found out right away. (It wasn’t me that told her.)
Cranking that valve, she upped the pressure even more. (Did anyone deduce that I wasn’t answering my phone when she called?) Next she got a friend involved. This friend had dated her but ended it. She told him that because he said no, “you owe it to her to get your friend Avi to go out with her”.
He agreed with me that she wasn’t for me, but asked for a humanitarian favor from me to go out with her so the shadchan will leave him alone.
Upping the pressure even more, the shadchan got other shadchanim involved until I buckled. It was worth it though- I was able to breathe normally again (albeit briefly…) afterwards.