Ok. Dr. Pepper, if I understand correctly – it seems to me that you’re saying if guys (and girls) are not wasting their time going out with people that are clearly a waste of time for them, they then can spend more time going out with what they really want and can sooner get married. The sooner they get married, the less possible age-related effect can occur.
From a psychological standpoint, i also agree with you. This is my own opinion, based on my own observations of tons of older and not older singles. In psychology, there are various stages as most of you well know, such as trust vs. mistrust, etc. If a person goes through that stage without gaining what they were supposed to, they still can go back and fix the issue – but it will be much, much harder. can even think of it in terms of one’s physical development. there seems to be a certain stage where a kid will learn how how to walk or crawl. at that stage, it is relatively easy for them to learn, or rather, they don’t seem to mind at all the work involved in that activity. they fall down, they laugh, pick themselves up, and start again. However, if for some reason a kid had to be in bed during that whole time or was forced to not develop at the right time, and then try to start walking at an older age, it is much, much more difficult and painful. Similarly, a kid generally enjoys the process of learning to read at around 5 or 6 – they don’t mind sounding out the words. it gives them great pleasure to read, even though they are laboriously sounding out the words, and if they go at their own rate (without undue pressure), they will read and read to themselves. If a kid would start much later – past the developmental stage, (ex. learning to read a second language), the process is much more laborious and not enjoyable – it seems like psychologically, they are past that developmental stage and have no interest in going back to it.
So too, does it seem like this process occurs with shidduchim. i don’t know the exact age range, but it seems that boys and girls in their early 20’s are at the developmental level to get married – to become a one, instead of just a two. Even though it still is difficult, it seems that it is easier to do the process at the right time. If for various reasons, the shidduch did not occur until a later point, it seems like it is much more difficult for both parties. (I know that there are environmental factors that take part also, but i think that those are generally more often the excuse, rather than the cause in and of itself.
So, in short, I agree that getting people married off sooner, rather than later, is crucial for the most part. (There will always be exceptions).