recommendation: kind of a yisro model for shadchanim.
first of all, shadchanim who really care to help both boys and girls find out what they’re really looking for. shadchanim or just plain people who’ve been trained to do so – meet with every boy and girl (it may take more than 1 meeting to get the boys and girls to open up) who are in the parsha, and ask (in order to help -not to judge, criticize, etc. – if they want to go out. (if they get hesistancy, find out why and give good eitza or help (another time i can be more specific – don’t have time now); if still not ready, tell them to not date at all for 6 months and come back to them in 6 months or if ready sooner – make sure they’re getting the help they need or the time and space, if that’s what they need. Then, ask very good questions to completely understand them and what they’re looking for.
Different shadchanim can be responsible for matching different groups of boys and girls. These shadchanim can be in touch with each other or can check the computer to find someone (without names) that might be what the guy (and girl) is looking for. if the guy says, based on that description, he may be interested – then give the name and let the guy check it out.
This way the guys would also want to be on the list – as the shadchanim are interested in helping them find what THEY are looking for and not just in setting up the “poor, nebach girls”.