Rabbi Sacks has a book in which he proves from Chazal that “darkei shalom” does not mean “what will the goyim think of us” but to actually make a more peaceful society where people care about each other, don’t steal, feed the hungry, heal the sick, etc.
It always shocks me every time I see people on this forum and elsewhere who get outraged every time someone dares to suggest that being a good person is a good thing. I shouldn’t be surprised, but for some reason I still am. The best is when people respond with “so-and-so says it isn’t a chiyuv.” If I cherrypicked heterim like that for shabbos and kashrus, would you eat in my house? If I checked your tefillin based on that method, would you make a bracha on them?