always runs with scissors fast
Firstly let me say that my heart goes out to you. I am very sorry that you have suffered so.
You should know that there are many men and women who have addictions. There are certain people who have “addictive personalities” where it is very easy for them to get addicted to things. There are many things in a persons nature or in their upbringing that can lead one to develop dependencies on drugs, alcohol or other types of addictive substances or behaviors. Once someone is addicted it is very difficult to break out of it. Imagine your worst habit x 1000! Its takes a strong hold on a person and constantly pulls them very often taking over their lives and ruining it. Not everyone succeeds at getting over their addictions.
Dont hate him, he isnt a bad person. He probably did not want to hurt you and likely did not do any of it on purpose and to be malicious. You have no idea how much he battled and hard he probably tried to get out of it. Thats not to say that it makes him not responsible for the pain he caused you, he is very much responsible but at the same time in a way he is like a choleh who couldnt help themselves. Addiction can literally take away a persons bechira.